That dirty little word.... DIET

So it's the New Year, time for the inevitable I'm-going-to-be-healthier resolution.

Just like 100s of others, I'm going to give exercise a shot. Not only because I've gained 10 pounds since August, but because I have a new guy friend...and said friend, is into fitness. I know, internetz, I know. I've tried to convert him to fried, greasy, fatty artery clogging foods...but, he has not given into my unhealthy charm and lifestyle. Not only has he NOT given in, he's suggest I (gasp) join him with fitness. I countered with, "I've had 2 babies" He blocks with, "11 years ago". Take THAT self-esteem.

He's using BIG words I don't completely understand, like - Cardio. When I hear a word like "cardio" I think it should probably mean one of two things.

1) A hot new Milton-Bradley game that combines the rules from bingo using everyday playing cards. Together they form a brand new masterpiece called C-A-R-D-I-O

or

2) I'll put my sixth grade science education to use and concoct the Cardio means Heart. Heart means Love. Love means Sex. Sex means somebody is losing a trailer.

I have a sneaky feeling that neither of the above are the correct answer, and I don't own a trailer...anymore. - that's a whole different story.

He's also used other words like Carbs, Protein, and Fats...good fats...bad fats....and then my head just starts to spin. I start feeling queasy and BAM, I need two sick days from work.

So Guy Friend has gone so far as to join the GYM...He sent me this picture.

(I'm trying to insert a photo, but for some reason it won't let me) just imagine 2 REALLY buff men and floor to ceiling mirrors.... NO....they are at the GYM!! Remove that bed from your imagination right now! Think GYM.

Maybe it's not the actual exercise that I'm afraid of, maybe it's more the mirrors and florescent lighting. I mean, think of the last time you went to find a bathing suit. For me, this was a tramatic event and I ended up going home and staying drunk for 3 days. But, at least there was privacy behind a locked door and all the fat jiggle was quietly contained. You could find the bathing suit that was the most flattering before revealing to all the unsuspecting tourists at the local water-theme park.

I believe I have talked him into at least letting me start out in the privacy of my own home. I'll take pictures of the event and, of course, photoshop so you viewers will be able to track my progress.
You'll have to keep checking back, because ME exercising is going to make for some funny stories.