potty pants

Jumping Jacks = dribble drawers.
Seriously.
WTF?!

Is it because I'm 40 and my insides have dropped?
Is it because of high mileage and battle damage my gynecologist refers to?
Is it because I've had 2 kids? - one was over 9lbs.
Is it because I didn't do all those damn kegels exercises?

Is it time for a bladder lift?
While we're lifting, let's go ahead and do a tummy tuck and throw in some boobs.
That should do me.
Unless you're paying, then let's get some liposuction on the hips and ass.
That should do me.
Well, since we're going to do all that, how about some permanent makeup and a face lift.
NOW... that should be all.

oh, all THAT should qualify me for a NEW name.... and occupation... oh no....
I don't want to be a hooker....

That escalated quickly.